Praise be to Allah, the Lord of Creations, and Peace and blessings be upon our prophet Muhammad, the faithful and the honest.
Oh, Allah, we know nothing but what You teach us. You are the All- Knower, the Wise. Oh Allah, teach us what is good for us, and benefit us from what You taught us, and increase our knowledge. Show us the righteous things as righteous and help us to do them, and show us the bad things as bad and help us to keep away from them.
O Allah our Lord, lead us out from the depths of darkness and illusion, unto the lights of erudition and knowledge, and from the muddy shallows of lusts unto the heavens of Your Vicinity.
The One Who Exceeds You in Good Character, Has Exceeded You in Religion:
First of all, the entire religion is good
character, so if good character no more exists faith will disappear with
it, and when faith no more exists, then Islam will vanish. . Without
morals Islam becomes merely a culture, traditions, and folklore. If
morals are removed from Islam, Islam will become nothing.
Ibn al-Qayyim, who is one of the well known
scholars in Islam, said, "The entire religion is good character, so the
one who exceeds you in good character, has exceeded you in religion."
Our Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, was granted miracles,
revelation, eloquence, beauty, and other innumerous attributes.
However, when Allah wants to praise him, what does He say?
﴾You are of the highest noble character﴿
[Al Qalam: 4]
Let me ask you this question; what attracts
people to you? It is not your worship, your wealth, your strength or
your intelligence. People are attracted to you because of your good
character, your modesty, your justice, your generosity and your courage.
The Moral Education is the Most Crucial Issue in Islam:
Moral education is the most crucial issue
in Islam; that is why we start with it. Dear brothers, I tell you that
as a Muslim you may commit mistakes, but the true believer is the one
who repents when he commits mistakes,
((Every son of Adam is a sinner and the best of sinners are those who repent))
[Reported by At-Tirmidhi, through Anas bin Malek ]
However, the believer is not a liar. It is reported in some Ahadeeth that,
((A believer is naturally disposed to all the traits except betrayal and lying.))
[Reported by Imam, through Abu Umama Al-Bahili]
The believer may be an elegant person who cares a lot about his
appearance, or someone who is less elegant than others. He could be
someone who cares a lot about how his house looks like, or who does not
care much about his house. . A believer can be social or shy, optimistic
or pessimistic. A believer can have all these traits,
((A believer is naturally disposed to all the traits except betrayal and lying))
The true believer never lies nor betrays.
You should always be honest in front of your children. Actually,
people learn through their eyes not their ears. For instance, if you lie
in front of your child by asking him to tell your friend that you are
not at home, you are throwing away one hundred lessons about honesty
your child has learned. You will make your child forget all about the
honesty lessons once you lie in front of him, because people learn
through their eyes not ears.
Listen carefully to the Hadith I have mentioned earlier,
((A believer is naturally disposed to all the traits except betrayal and lying))
It does not matter if the believer is urban,
rural, rich, poor, well-educated or illiterate. What really matters is
that he should be truthful and honest.
Lying is Dangerous; be Careful With Your Child if he Lies:
In psychology there is Behavioral Science
that studies human tendencies. It shows that some people tend to be
cautious, other people tend to be trustful with other, some tend to be
happy and others tend to frown … etc
((A believer is naturally disposed to all the traits))
There is no problem with all these traits except,
((Except betrayal and lying))
If he lies or betrays he is not a true
believer; this is exactly what the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon
him, said in one of his Ahadeeth,
((A believer can never be a liar))
If your child makes a mistake, which could
be a big one, you may forgive him. However, lying is an unforgivable
mistake; it is a deadly one.
Lying is the Most Dangerous Issue in Educating Children:
Dear brothers, our Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said,
((Four traits whoever possesses them is a hypocrite
and whoever possesses some of them has an element of hypocrisy until he
leaves it: the one who when he speaks he lies, when he promises he
breaks his promise, when he disputes he transgresses and when he makes
an agreement he violatesit))
[Agreed upon]
"Four traits whoever possesses them is a
hypocrite," one of them is lying. . Lying should have no place in the
Islamic house; the wife does not lie to her husband, nor does the
husband lie to his wife, the child does not lie to his farther, nor
does the father lie to his child. Lying is almost the most dangerous
issue in educating children. Be always honest and never lie.
Some of you may ask; did not our Prophet,
peace and blessings be upon him, allow the husband to lie to his wife?!
I have noticed that the couples misunderstood the prophetic
saying. The husbands thought that they can lie to their wives in
everything. For instance, the husband tells his wife that prices are
doubled to make her take that into consideration. The wife tells her
sister, who visits her that her husband has paid eight thousand liras to
buy something, but her sister says that the real price is four thousand
liras. As a result, The husband will be a liar in front of his wife.
Subhana Allah (Glory be to Allah,) His great Wisdom never lets lying
last for a long time.
Allah is the Most Wise and the All-knower;
He allows the husband to lie to his wife in one case only; if the wife
asks her husband to tell her how much he loves her, and he answers that
he loves her so much although he may not love her that much. In this
case the husband is lying, but his lie will keep the ties with his wife
strong and his house will be full of love. Similarly, the wife is
permitted to lie to her husband if he asks her about how much she loves
him. Her answer should be what he really expected from her to say.
Familial ties will keep strong if the husband and wife express their
love to each other the way each one of them prefers. In other words,
lying in expressing one’s love to his/ her spouse will help keep the
relations at home between the couple and the children strong; that is
why it is permitted in this case only.
The Prophet, may Allah have peace and blessings upon him, had his
own way when he wanted to express his love. Listen to what he used to
say to his wife Aeyshah. She, may Allah be pleased with her, once asked
him, "How is your love for me?" He answered, "As the loop of the rope."
She kept asking him about his love for her from time to time saying,
"How is the loop?" He PBUH answered, "As it is; a strong loop." He was
always honest with his wife when he used to express his love for her.
The husband has no right at all to lie to
his wife apart from what I mentioned above. The lie of the husband
will be uncovered sooner or later, so the husband will be a liar in the
eyes of his wife. Never ever allow to yourself to lie to your wife
except in, "Do you love me? " "Yes I do." This answer is relieving to
your wife, and it will help keep the ties solid. As you know not all
marriages are based on love. Some are based on the mutual interest.
Thus, you are permitted to lie to keep this sacred relation strong
especially if you have kids.
Islam is not merely Prayer, Fasting, Zakat and Hajj; it is a Moral Structure:
Dear brothers,
((It is incumbent upon you to be always truthful, for truthfulness guides to absolute piety and piety leads to Paradise.))
[Bukharee, Adab (Manners), 69; Muslim, Birr (Piety), 103, 104]
Listen again, ((A man who always tells the truth
and pursues the truth is written with Allaah as a truthful one. Refrain
from lying, for lying guides to sinfulness and sinfulness leads to
Hellfire. A man continues to tell lies and pursues lies until he is
written with Allaah as a liar.))
[Bukharee, Adab (Manners), 69; Muslim, Birr (Piety), 103, 104]
Dear Brothers, when Nagashi the king asked Ja'afar to tell him about Islam, Ja’afar answered him saying,
((We were people of ignorance, worshiping idols,
eating dead meat, doing fornication, cutting relations with our kinship,
wronging our neighbors, and our powerful eating the weak. We used to be
that way until Allah sent us a Messenger of us whom we knew his
relations, honesty, truthfulness, and abstinence. He called us for Allah
to worship him alone, and leave off what we used to worship, like our
fathers, of stones and idols. He commanded us with to be true with our
speech, return the deposits, and be kind to our kinship and neighbors.
He prevented us from what is wrong and from bloods, and forbad us from
fornication, telling lies, eating the money of the orphans, and accusing
the chaste wives.))
By Allah dear brothers, is not it what Islam all about? Listen again how this dignified companion explains Islam
((…to be true with our speech, return the deposits, and be kind to our kinship and neighbors.))
I keep repeating the Prophet’s saying,
((Islam is built upon five [pillars]: the testimony
that there is no god but Allaah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of
Allaah; establishing regular prayer (salaah); paying the zakaah; Hajj
(pilgrimage) and fasting Ramadaan.))
[Agreed upon; narrated by al-Bukhaari, no. 8]
Does it mean that Islam is only Testimony,
Prayer, Fasting, Hajj (Pilgrimage) and Zakat (Obligatory Charity)? The
meaning of Islam goes beyond these acts of worship; it is a moral
structure.
Islam Will Vanish Once Virtues and Morals are Taken Away From it:
Dear brothers, I repeat what I said earlier;
the minute we detach morals and virtues from Islam, Islam will be
nothing, Muslims will be worthless to Allah and Allah will suspend His
Promises to the believers. Allah says,
﴾Allah has promised those of you who believe and do
good deeds that He will most surely make them vicegerent in the earth as
He made their ancestors before them, and that He will establish for
them their religion, the one which He has chosen for them, and that He
will change their present state of fear into peace and security. Let
them worship Me Alone and not to commit shirk with Me; and if anyone
rejects faith after this, it is they who are the transgressors﴿
[An-Nur: 55]
Promises to the Believers will be Suspended if They do not Have Good Manners:
If we do not understand Islam as a moral entity, all promises made to us by Allah will be suspended. . Does not Allah say,
﴾and that Our forces will surely be victorious ﴿
[As- Saffat: 173]
Does not He say,
﴾it is due on Us to help the Believers ﴿
[Ar-Rum: 47]
Does not He say,
﴾We surely will help Our Messengers and the believers both in this world’s life and on the Day when the witnesses will take a stand to testify ﴿
[Ghafir:51]
Does not Allah say,
﴾Allah will not leave the way for the unbelievers to triumph over the believers ﴿
[An-Nisa’:141]
How many promises are there? If we do not have good manners, all these promises will be suspended. This is the situation of Muslims nowadays; their promises are suspended, "The entire religion is good character, so the one who exceeds you in good character, has exceeded you in religion."
Truthfulness is the Best Thing a Father Teaches his Child:
Dear Brothers, the house where there is
truthfulness, is a great house and a blessed one. It is a house where
there is mutual understanding and harmony. By Allah dear brothers, if
lying no more exists in our daily lives, we will be in better
situation.
Once I was sitting with some people whom
were telling lies to each other. When I went out leaving those people, a
person asked me, "Where were you? I answered him, "I was in a meeting
of lying." All people there were lying; they were praising themselves
and their children. All what they said was nonsense. I tell you, be
truthful!
The house where there is truthfulness is a
blessed house. Lying is the main reason of almost all problems;
exaggerating is lying, belittling others is lying, disinformation is
lying and showing off is lying. Actually there are innumerous types of
lying.
So, the most precious Medal of Honor the
believer has is his truthfulness, and the best lesson the father teaches
his son is the one about truthfulness. If you taught your son to be
truthful, and he broke a vase one day but admitted that, you should
not punish him.
Truthfulness Guides to Absolute Piety and Piety Leads to Paradise:
By Allah brothers, I have a young brother
whom I am very proud of. He has a factory that his father has opened for
him in Egypt. While he was driving his car, he had an accident. The
man who was in the other car died. He was over 90 years old. Our brother
called up the factory manager and told him what happened. The manager
told him, "Relax, just come to so and so police station." An hour later,
he arrived at that police station only to find that everything was
settled. The minutes of the accident were against the reality. They made
it look like as if the person who died was the one who hit him, and
that it was the mistake of the old man. Consequently, the person in
charge told him to sign, but he refused saying, "This is not what
happened." He said: "Just sign". The young man said, "No, I won’t." He
said, "That’s weird! This is the first time I try to bring a person out
of a trouble and he brings himself back into it." The young man replied:
"I don’t want you to save me. I want to be saved from Allah’s
Punishment. I will not sign on anything except that which has
happened." So he signed on a statement indicating that he was
responsible for the accident. He paid the penalty for that and he
employed the old man’s children in the factory. This young man is
knowledge seeker; because he fears Allah, he refused to sign the report
that revolved around fabricated events.
The true believer never lies. There are
many other similar stories; one of them is about the truthfulness of
Abdul Kader Al-Jilani, who is one of the greatest Muslim scholars.
When he was young, his mother gave him forty golden dinars to pursue
his studies in Baghdad. On his way, a gang of burglars stopped him. They
were divided into groups, so the first group asked him, "How much money
do you have?" He replied, "I have forty golden dinars." The thieves did
not believe me, so they let him go. The other group stopped him and
asked him the same question. The young man answered them saying, "I have
forty golden dinars." They took him to the leader of their gang
telling him about the answer of the young man. The leader asked him,
"Why are you telling us the truth about the money you have?" The lad
replied, "I promised my mother to be always truthful, and never tell
lies. I will never dare to betray our accord." The leader of the gang
told him sadly, "You don’t dare to betray your accord with your mother,
and I dared to betray mine with Allah." He cried a lot and decided to
repent and turn to Allah, and all the members of the gang did the same.
By Allah dear brothers, there are many other stories about how truthfulness saves you, and how lying endangers you. Thus,
((It is incumbent upon you to be always truthful, for
truthfulness guides to absolute piety and piety leads to Paradise. A
man who always tells the truth and pursues the truth is written with
Allaah as a truthful one. Refrain from lying, for lying guides to
sinfulness and sinfulness leads to Hellfire. A man continues to tell
lies and pursues lies until he is written with Allaah as a liar. ))
A Man Who Always Tells and Pursues the Truth is Written as a Truthful One:
((A person asked the Prophet, peace and blessings
be upon him, "What save the slave from the hellfire?" He answered,
"Believing in Allah." Then the man asked, "Any work with belief? "The
Prophet PBUH answered, "Giving charity to the poor." He asked, "What if
he cannot?" The Prophet PBUH answered, "Then, he can command good and
forbid wrong." He said, "What if he cannot?" The prophet PBUH
answered, "Then, he can give aid to his brother." He said, "What if he
cannot?" At that moment the Prophet PBUH started to get angry and
said, "Can’t he do any good; he cannot give charity, he cannot command
good and forbid wrong and he cannot help his brother! So at least he can
abstain from hurting people around him." The man said, "Would this be
enough to save him from hellfire?" The Prophet, peace and blessings
be upon him, said, "Whoever sticks to any of the aforementioned deeds,
I will lead him to Paradise by his hands."))
[Reported by Ibn abi Shibah, through Abu Dharr Al-Ghafari ]
When you are truthful, your truthfulness
guides you to absolute piety. For example, the father asks his son,
"Have you prayed Ish’a son?" Because the son pledged Allah to be always
truthful, he will tell the truth saying, "No Dad, not yet." The father
says, "Let us pray it together." If the son says that he has prayed,
then the father keeps silent because he knows very well that his son is
telling the truth. I repeat time and time again,
((Truthfulness guides to absolute piety and piety
leads to Paradise. A man who always tells the truth and pursues the
truth is written with Allaah as a truthful one.))
Watchfulness Entails Efforts, but its Results are Very Relieving:
The best lesson the father teaches to his
children is truthfulness. However, keeping an eye on your children needs
a lot of efforts. . If you ask him, "Where have you been?" and he
answers you, "I have been with my friend." You should look for the truth
once you doubt that he is lying. Ask for the name of his friend, his
telephone number and try to call him even. It is not easy for a father
to believe the fabricated stories of his son. I know that this
checking process is time consuming. Watchfulness needs patience and hard
working; that is why some parents prefer to relax and take things easy.
They believe whatever their children say. When parents do not look for
the truth or check everything their children say, they teach their
children to lie.
When the parents check the stories and excuses claimed by their
children and decide to punish them or not to do so, they give a good
example of how parenthood should be. It is to keep an eye on your
children. Listen to the following dialogue which may take place between
a mother and her daughter,
The mother: Where have you been daughter?
The daughter: With my friend. (She is lying, because she has been with her boyfriend.)
The mother: Give me her telephone number.
The daughter: I don’t have it.
The mother: Have your seat in the car and show me the way to her house.
On their way she confesses that she was with
her boyfriend. When the children notice that their parents are
closely watching them, their behavior change to the better.
I worked at an educational establishment
many years ago. I used to write down the orders I gave to the
employees in an agenda in order to make sure the next day that the
assigned work was done. About three weeks later, all the employees
thought that I never forget what I said. I sometimes forget what I
said, but writing down everything enabled me to remind the employees of
their assignments. I want you to do the same thing; parents should
write down every instruction they give to their children in order to
remind them of it the next day. Also you should write down the promises
of your children, so you can remind them of their promises the minute
they break them.
Fathers teach their children to lie when
they believe their fabricated stories instead of checking whether their
children tell the truth or not. Unfortunately, I am inclined to believe
that all mistakes committed by children are the very results of their
parents’ mistakes. There is no bad child in nature; the bad education
is what makes children bad.
Truthfulness is Trust, Whereas Lying is Deception
Dear Brothers, Truthfulness is trust, whereas lying is deception. Listen to the following Hadith,
((It is great treachery that you should tell your brother something and have him believe you when you are lying.))
[Sunan of Abu-Dawood – Book 41 Hadith 4953]
You should be ashamed of yourself if you lie
to your brother about something, while he believes you. You should be
ashamed of your treachery,
((It is great treachery that you should tell your brother something and have him believe you when you are lying.))
Lying even in trivial things is still
lying. It is narrated that Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be
upon him, was in one of his relative’s house, and he heard a woman
talking to her child. She said, "Come here dear to get this." The
Prophet PBUH turned to her and said, "What did you want to give him?"
She replied, "A date." He said, "If you had been pretending to give
him something to make him come to you, this would have been considered a
lie."
One of my relatives lives in America, but he
came to Syria in summer. His son was a hyperactive child, so his
grandmother got angry with him. She wanted to find a way to make him
calm down. Thus, she said, "If you keep silent, I will take you to a
wonderful place in the evening." . The poor little child believed
her and stayed calm. When evening came, his grandmother didn’t keep her
promise, so he said, "You are a liar."
All of us Should be Truthful, for the Truthful is a Dignified Man:
Dear brothers, fathers should be the
exemplars to their children. Therefore, never ever lie to your
children or to your wife. Tell the truth even if it is bitter.
Imagine that you went to Beirut and one of
your friends asked you to bring him something from there. You came
back and forgot to bring him what he wanted. If he asked you about
it and you answered that you could not find it in any shop, he would
keep silent because he had no means to check whether you told the truth
or not. However, did not you feel that there was something wrong inside
yourself? When you lied to him, you underestimated yourself. Tell him
the truth even if it is difficult to do so with your dearest friend.
Tell him that you forgot to bring what he wanted. He might get upset,
but you would be relieved because you did not lie to him.
In many cases, people whom you are lying to
may not be able to check whether you are saying the truth or not. Be
truthful no matter how difficult it is to tell the truth. It is only
the truth which can save you, not lying.
You, fathers, mothers, old brothers, shop
owners, factory owners, directors of hospitals and heads of
universities, be truthful.
Believe it or not; someone came from the
Madian to Al-Basra to take a Prophetic saying from one of its narrators.
Before he came closer to the narrator, the man noticed that the
narrator’s horse refused to come to him, so he pretended that he had
some food for his horse in his gown. The horse came nearer to his owner
thinking that he had barely, so the narrator was able to catch it. At
once the man decided not to take the Hadith from that narrator, for he
lied to his horse. He forgot all about the Hadith and got back home. He
thought that the one who lied to his horse was not qualified to tell the
Ahadeeth of Prophet Muhammad, may Allah have peace and blessings upon
him. .
The Dearest Man to Allah is the Penitent One:
Dear brothers,
((Truthfulness guides to absolute piety and piety leads to Paradise.))
If you are truthful with people, you will
be truthful with yourself and with Allah after a while. I swear by
Allah, if lying were abolished from our lives, we would be in a better
situation, because everyone would be truthful; women, men, employees and
directors etc… You may tell lies and no one will be able to
discover that, but you should always be truthful.
((It is great treachery that you should tell your brother something and have him believe you when you are lying.))
[Sunan of Abu-Dawood – Book 41 Hadith 4953]
It is mentioned in the Tradition that,
((I love three people, and my love for other three is more. I love the obedient, but I love the obedient young man more.))
This means that an eighty-year old man is
not supposed to disobey Allah, but a young man who is in his teens is
driven by his lusts, so he is more likely to commit sins. This young
man is the dearest one to Allah if he turns to Him in repentance.
((Allah is proud of his repentant young man. He says to his angels, " Look at my slave, he quit his lust for my sake."))
Listen again,
((I love three people, but my love for other three is
more. I love the obedient, but my love for the obedient young man is
more; I love the humble, but my love for the humble rich man is more.))
If you meet a true believer who is rich, you would like to be like him because of his modesty and generosity.
((…and I love the generous , but my love for the generous poor man is more.))
Allah loves the obedient, , but He loves
the obedient young man more. He loves the humble, but He loves the
humble rich man more. He loves the generous, but He loves the generous
poor man more.
It is also reported that,
((I hate three people, and my hate for other
three people is more. I hate the disobedient, but I hate the
disobedient old man more. I hate the arrogant, but I hate the arrogant
poor man more…))
Now, how can the poor be arrogant? Simply by lying and pretending to be rich.
Islam is an Objective Approach; You Should Apply it in Order to Yield its Fruits:
Dear brothers, we should think deeply of
what is happening at our homes. There is no need to give your child
lectures; it is enough to be his exemplar. You should be his exemplar in
order to be able to ask him to do good deeds. It is enough that you,
his mother or his old brother is his exemplar. You may think
that educating children needs to give them information, but I tell you
that educating them is something totally different. We have a rule
which refers to the fact that making use of something does not require
necessarily being knowledgeable about it. Let me explain this by giving
you an example; A highly educated man, who has PH.D at a well known
university, knows very well that he should press the on button to
operate the air conditioner. Also he knows how it works from inside to
get a hot or cold air. Now, if an illiterate person buys an air
conditioner and presses the same button, what will happen? The same
thing, i.e. the air-conditioner works. Pressing the button to make the
air conditioner work does not necessitate that you should be an
educated person. Thus, scholars say that making use of something does
not require being knowledgeable about it.
In brief, when your child or anybody else
is truthful, he will yield the fruits of truthfulness no matter how
much he knows about the philosophy of it. Likewise, when someone lies,
he will yield the fruits of lying no matter how much information he
knows about lying.
Our religion is great, because it is an objective approach. Whether
you deeply analyze it or not, it is enough to apply it if you want to
yield its fruits.
All Members of Your Family Should be Truthful
All the members of the family should be
truthful starting with the father and ending with the youngest member.
The latest studies have referred to the fact that baby cries even
if he is cleaned and fed , simply because he is used to be carried by
his mother each time he cries. A father may not carry his little baby
if he cries, because he knows that his child is cleaned and fed. There
is no reason for his crying, so the father will not carry him. After a
while the baby will not cry without a reason, because the father makes
him used to this.
Dear Brothers, the parents suffer a lot
when their children grow up because of the mistakes they made when their
children were young.
Translation : Messikh Djihad
Edited by : Kawthar al-Hajj Saleh
Source
http://www.nabulsi.com/en/art.php?art=11827&id=150&sid=736&ssid=758&sssid=760&w=
موضوع: The Moral Education is the Most Crucial Issue in Islam: 
الإثنين فبراير 11, 2013 4:38 pm
